Contradictions

Sunny days were the worst
She would have to leave 
And paint a smile on her face for those she would see

The rainy days were so much better
She didn’t have to pretend to be anything
Or act like someone she wasn’t

She could be her happy self
And yet she was miserable
But how can you be both miserable and happy at the same time?

She couldn’t explain it to anyone
She couldn’t describe it
She just felt

She felt both loved and lonely
She felt confident and insecure
How could she feel two different ways at once?

So instead of describing
Instead of explaining herself
She would just paint that smile on and hope nobody asked