Hey everybody,
So today I’m going to talk about me. I hate talking about myself but I think these are some things that are important to write about. Today, I’m going to talk about a few of the things I struggle with or have struggled with in the past. I’m not talking about this to get sympathy or for attention, I’m talking about them to offer advice and tell you what I’ve learned from each of these struggles.
Bullying
First I’m going to talk about bullying. Bullying is not right. It never has been and never will be. I skipped the first grade and let me tell you, even though it was the right decision for my education, it was the worst decision for my social life. Although I was only one year younger than my classmates, socially we were very different. As we got older, they began talking about things I knew nothing about and frankly, I was too young to talk about them. Along with this came bullying. Some people bullied me because I was younger, easy to pick on. Others bullied me because of my intelligence. I struggled with bullying so much that I used to go to the nurse multiple times a week with a stomach ache and wanting to go home. By the end of 5th grade, I was still not learning enough and was still being bullied, so I decided my mom was going to put me into cyber school (PS I have the coolest mom, she always made sure I had a say in my education). By the time high school rolled around, I was ready to go back to public school to make my last two years easy. While a lot of people didn’t care about being mean anymore, there were still some people who picked on me. Since I was older, I chalked it up to teasing because I thought that they were my friends. I was wrong.
Never be afraid to stand up for yourself like I was. Never be afraid to talk about your bullying. You aren’t the only one to go through something like that. Bullying is a big issue. People don’t realize how much their words can harm someone else. Or if they do, they don’t realize how wrong it is to hurt others. If you’ve ever been bullied, talk to someone, keep a journal, let it out. Don’t keep it bottled in because that will hurt you even more in the long run.
Rheumatoid Arthritis
At 15 years old, I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis (RA). I have done a lot of research on this disease because my mom has it as well. I know that it’s an autoimmune disease, which in children’s words means that your body’s immune system is essentially attacking itself. RA mainly affects the joints in the patient’s body, resulting in swollen and stiff joints.
I’ve noticed that my worst times for RA are in the morning right after I wake up, after long car rides, and if I’ve been very active in a day. My worst affected areas are my hands/wrists, hips, knees, and minor pain in my neck and shoulders. I take a prescription that helps me to be able to move around for an entire day without constant stiffness and swollenness. Enough people don’t actually understand RA. I am constantly teased for the things that happen as a result of my arthritis – I fall a lot because my joints give out, I drop things because I have virtually no hand strength, and I limp sometimes when I walk. None of these things are my fault. If you’re my friend, get used to riding elevators if there is one available because I am literally afraid of stairs due to the fact that I fall so much and how much stress they put on my joints. I also collect braces – wrist braces, knee braces, ankle braces and nobody can appreciate a brand new ace bandage more than I can.
There is no cure for RA, so there’s no hope for it to go away. I’ve learned ways to manage my pain though. Movement of the affected areas really help the swelling stay down (as long as you don’t injure yourself). A heating pad is also one of my best friends, helping to loosen my joints. I make fun of myself a lot because what else am I going to do? I can’t be miserable all the time.
Concussions
HOLY SMOKES. So I’ve hit my head before many times in my life, but it wasn’t until last year that I was diagnosed with my first concussion. Let me tell you, I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy. I didn’t feel like myself. I had a new anger I had never felt inside me, I cried even more than I already do, I was so light sensitive that I wore sunglasses EVERYWHERE (even in dark rooms)and the physical toll on my body was awful. I went through 6 weeks of physical and occupational therapy to get me back to where I was pre-concussion, both cognitively and physically. Before therapy, my balance was so bad that I would close my eyes and start swaying. Also before therapy, I was struggling with my schoolwork – I was a senior in college. I couldn’t focus and I couldn’t retain anything. My therapy helped me get better and work harder than I ever had before – I even got Dean’s List that semester.
Just eight months later, (I hadn’t even fully recovered from concussion number one) I was diagnosed with a second concussion from a different injury and that one actually screwed up my vision. I was seeing double and my left eye was not coordinating with my right eye. I couldn’t read properly or drive properly. It was not cool at all. After therapy was completed, I felt a million times better. I hadn’t read a book in almost a year and I was finally able to read properly again.
If you ever get a concussion – sports related or not – do not avoid the things the doctor suggests. I was very lucky to have such a wonderful and caring doctor who looked out for my best interests. Concussions are serious and I didn’t realize just how serious until I had one. Go to your appointments, do your therapy, and take a step back from the things that will overwork your brain and prolong your injury.
Allergy
I am allergic to black pepper. Yup, you read that right. The pepper that goes in a shaker on the table. I am allergic to that. Let me tell you, it is the worst thing ever. I can almost never eat the things I want when I go out to eat. On an ingredients list, pepper is listed under “spices” but that doesn’t help me because I never know if spices actually does include pepper or not. When people find out I’m allergic to pepper, they also ask if I’m allergic to bell peppers, or chipotle/jalapeno/cayenne. Nope, just black pepper. There are even some people who think I’m making this allergy up. Why would I make this up?! It only makes my life more difficult. The only difference in the spices between spicy peppers and black pepper is the chemical that actually makes them spicy. The worst thing about this allergy is that I developed it during my freshman year of college, so I actually know what I’m missing out on. I never realized how hard it is to live life when you have a food allergy. If I could wish for one thing different about myself, I honestly would wish away this allergy.
Ankle Problems
Lastly, I’m going to tell ya’ll about my ankle. My flippin’ left ankle. In 8th grade, I broke my left ankle by walking. My ankle gave out and when I fell, the way my ankle was bent allowed a ligament to snap a chip of bone off of my ankle. AND IT’S NEVER BEEN THE SAME. Almost every year since then, I’ve broken/sprained my ankle at least once. You can guarantee I’ll be in a walking boot for at least two months out of the year. I’m honestly over it. Especially because every time I break it, it’s doing something normal – like walking. I can do crazy stuff without even hurting myself (e.g. ice skating or walking in sand) but when I walk my ankle’s just like “Nope!” and I fall over.
The worst thing about this is the amount of times I’ve heard “You’re faking it” “You need a better injury story” “You’re such a klutz” because none of these are true. Well, maybe I could use better injury stories. ANYWAY, my orthopedic (who has since retired) told me that one of the ligaments in my leg stretches more than it’s supposed to and the muscle in my leg weakened from me depending too much on the right leg. I have tried physical therapy, braces, shoes with ankle supports – none of them work. Another thing I just push through. Yes, I’m used to the injury and being in a boot or cast, but it always hurts when it happens. I just have to remember, things could always be worse.
I think that’s a saying I live by. “Things could always be worse.” I am far from believing that my life sucks. I am blessed and lucky to live the life I have, but when sucky stuff happens to me, I always tell myself that things could be worse. There are people out there who have it worse than me and I just need to remember to take the sucky stuff with a grain of salt. I need to remember that even though sucky things happen, that doesn’t make it the end of the world. This fuels me to go out of my way to make other people happy. It’s not me being fake, it’s me wanting other people to be happy and me wanting to make sure that everybody smiles at least once a day because everyone deserves even just a little bit of happiness.
My final advice I’ll leave you with: Be yourself. Have a fun life. Smile. Throw happiness around like confetti. Don’t let the haters get you down. Remember that you are important. Even if some people are mean, that doesn’t make you any less important. There is always someone out there who cares and loves you.
Love,
Meegs
meeghanlina 